Eight Hundred and fifty million murders every year.
Every single one of them are family I hold dear.
So in my hands, I have for you very special gift;
His name is Mr Hatchet, and his justice will be swift.
Yes, patience is a virtue but it's time to set things right;
Rest assured that human blood is gonna flow tonight.
A Bain-Marie in a fast-food store ain't no promised land.
So now the line has been drawn clearly into the sand.
In the battle against evil, I will release the berserker rage;
to emancipate my pheasant friends from their death-row prison cage.
Once your limbs are severed, you'll be no competitor.
I am your worst nightmare; the alpha-apex predator.
The phantom pheasant saviour;
Redeemer of all poultry.
Justice and liberation,
in a world where chickens roam free.
I'm the Poultry Punisher;
Spreading fear throughout the land.
Coz there's Vengeance in my heart.
And death within my hand.